Psychic virgin

I had an extremely interesting and unique experience–at least it was for me. I went to my first psychic today. I am in Vegas doing all the things my religion prohibited–well not all. I have gambled–that’s a no-no. So while strolling the strip and exploring I came across a psychic in one corner of the Flamingo. I had been feeling a little lost recently. I have spent my whole life with my faith being true-north. Now I feel like I lack purpose and direction. College gives me those right now, but I feel like I need something more. I am so burned out on religion I don’t want to re-engage in that madness, so I hoped the psychic might tell me something I could use to focus my life.

Her name was Kileen and she was thin with straight brown hair and the right kind of clothes befitting her position. I bought 30 minutes which cost $80–figured if I was going to do it, I better do it right. After stepping through the beaded curtain, we sat down in a small room papered with jewel-toned faux velvet.  She then took both my hands in hers and led me through a short meditation. Then she asked me what I wanted addressed first. I told her I had recently learned, in Psychology, that I have an oral fixation. Which explains why I chew my fingernails, have a caustic wit, eat/drink to drown my sorrows, have a tendency to be gullible, and–yes, ladies and gentlemen–I bite. Freud felt this was caused from some problem that occurred in my first year of life.  Since I have a hard time remembering back that far, I hoped Kileen could help. She drew out a deck of well used Tarot cards and after shuffling them, laid 7 or 8 of them on the table in various directions. She immediately started in on how I have a gift for seeing things as they truthfully are and stating my positions or feelings openly and sometimes abruptly. But, she says I have grown tired of people not listening to me so I have decided to clam up. She says I need to find my voice because in many of my previous lifetimes I was an instructor. This perked me up. Previous lifetimes?

So that was my next question: how many previous lifetimes have I had? Hundreds, she replied. After shuffling and re dealing the tarot, she said I am actually coming to the end of my journey. She said in most previous lifetimes I was a man and a warrior. I didn’t like fighting but was always called upon to fight. She saw stone castles and green fields and hills in my past. She told me I had died young in many of my lives, perhaps due to the wars I was involved in. My soul took a two hundred year rest because I was tired of all the fighting and when I decided to be born again I chose a woman, hoping that would keep me from fighting.

Many of these things truly resonated. I thought the initial things she said about my oral fixation could have been said to anyone (altho she did manage to correctly ID me as being opinionated). But as to the lives, I have always felt like I had an old soul–and this was before I even believed we had souls. I am a lot more serious and sensible than a lot of people and I have always been like that. I have an obsession for Scotland even though, in this life, I have never been there. But I have always felt that if I do go there, and set foot on the highlands outside Inverness, I will feel at home. I have never felt at home anywhere I have lived. I have also told people many times that I do not expect to live to a ripe old age. I have always figured I would be dead before 60. Could that be a residual thought from the lives I’ve lived that ended early? And as to me being a man in previous lifetimes: I am almost 6 feet tall, strong, with wide shoulders for a woman, and the ability to work as hard as a man. I am an INTP (Myers-Briggs), which is a personality profile few women possess. I do not flirt, wear feminine clothing or jewelry, cry, or manifest most other traits most women possess. What is more,  I have also had the sneaking suspicion I could be bi if I wanted to be.

After the revelations re: my many lives, I asked her about my father. He died a couple months ago in my home. I had taken care of him for most of the year. He died while I was in the other room, so I wondered if he was afraid. If his passing was hard. In my father’s faith (and mine up until a few months ago) we were taught humans have no soul. So there is no immortal afterlife. According to those beliefs, dad went to sleep and is unconscious. I don’t think I believe that anymore so I wondered what she would say. I didn’t tell her anything but his name. I didn’t even tell her he was my father. I just said, “I lost someone a few months ago and I am wondering where he is.” I told her his name and, after shuffling and re-dealing the Tarot, she sat back and started describing someone who wasn’t ready to leave his life. She said he still had some things he wanted to wrap up. She said his passing was very climactic because he didn’t want to go and was afraid of the unknown. He thought he knew what was going to happen but was surprised at what actually happened (I had not told her anything about his beliefs). She said she sensed he had been cared for in the last months of his life and found that difficult (again, I hadn’t told her anything). She also felt he died before he should have. I asked her what she meant and she said that she sensed he hadn’t taken care of himself and so died before he really needed to.   I have documented that in my other blog (see: www.forsakingrestraint.com). She said he hasn’t moved on to another life but is only resting now because his passing was so traumatic. She said he is doing fine.

That was my first reading, as I mentioned previously. I told her nothing but my name and my dad’s name and would volunteer no other information the whole time. I wanted to see how accurate she was. I tried to keep my face blank and my reactions neutral. I went in a skeptic and came out a borderline believer. Was the $80 worth it? Yes, I think so. I got a perspective on life that broadened my vision of the world. Upon leaving my childhood faith, I felt resentment for giving up so much of myself and the best years of my life. As I said previously, I have never felt I would live a long time so I felt I didn’t have much time left to accomplish what I wanted to accomplish. But the idea that we have multiple lifetimes, and no matter what I accomplish in this life, it is going to be okay because I have already accomplished so much. Whether this is my last life or not, it will go on. She even told me that I shouldn’t regret anything in my life for everything happens for a reason and it is part of my journey.

One more thing she mentioned, organized religion is for young to middle aged souls who still like taking direction and being a part of a group. Old souls lead and have grown beyond organized religion. She said she can guarantee 100% that we have souls for she has seen manifestations of them. She also said, “Once you leave the highway, there are five different ways to get to my house. Why would God only have one way to him?” I thought it an interesting point.

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4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Hi!

    Have enjoyed reading your blog. A mutual friend turned me on to it.

    • Thanks, Ty. And thank you for being the first to leave a comment. I was beginning to think nobody loved me
      :,( sniff, sniff

  2. This sounds like a fairly legitimate psychic I feel that most are fake but this one sounds pretty much right on… some have “the gift”. I can relate to a lot of what you said in your post, I also have a draw to time periods and places that I don’t fully understand. As a Christian I find it hard to believe in previous lives, but I don’t seem to have typical Christian beliefs anyway. I thoroughly believe in God, and I believe he sent Christ to earth to wash away the sins of masses, but I also believe that all other monotheistic religions believe in the same God regardless of what name they call him… it’s all one omni-presence. The main difference is their individual prophets.

    I also can relate to several of the other things you mentioned like not feeling like you’ll live to an old age, and having an old soul and feeling serious most of your life. It’s hard to believe that you’ve had hundreds of previous lives, though I suppose if you died at an early age that would definitely make it more of a possibility… if I believe it’s possible at all.

    Anyway I stumbled across this and found it very interesting thanks so much for sharing your experience.

  3. I’m glad you enjoyed it Heather, and thanks for commenting. I am personally in transition with my beliefs and not quite sure what to belief. I must admit to being a bit turned off by Christianity in general, but that is because my sole experience with Christianity has been very exclusive and judgmental. I like the idea that everyone has their own way of believing and that is okay.


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