Because-a poem

Borrowed from a friend–


               (Open testimony to the Watchtower Organization)

Because I had a love for God you found me.

Because I needed hope in my life you said all the right things.

Because you said I would find “real love” I was joyous and believed you.

Because you presented a future utopia I wanted you.

Because you convinced me others would intervene I left them.

Because you said I must commit to you I conformed.

Because you persuaded me I dedicated myself and my child to your cause.

Because you convinced me God needed my time, money, and energy I gave it.

Because you continually announced that all of yours are happy I chased it.

Because I could not catch this elusive joy I was often depressed.

Because you indicated asking questions was disloyal I asked none.

Because I discovered hypocrisy emanating from you I was confused.

Because your shepherds were not tender I was hurt.

Because you allowed lies to prevail and damage the innocent I was discouraged.

Because you treated my loved ones with derision and contempt I became incensed.

Because I took in knowledge that uncovered your lies I was able to see clearly.

Because I was educated I was able to break free from your shackles.

Because I gained freedom I was empowered.

Because I have a love for God I walked away from you.

Because I am finally free I am happy.



Searching for Answers

I have been feeling rather lost recently. Money is tight, work is sparse, and college is losing its appeal. I am enjoying my math and poetry classes, but am finding homework more burdensome than usual. Summer term is waning and I am looking forward to its end. One of my massage clients told me of a friend who has psychic ability. She lives locally and I thought it would be interesting to see her as I enjoyed my previous experience with the psychic in Vegas.

I contacted her and set up an appointment. Imagine my surprise to realize she was raised in the same faith I was–Jehovah’s Witnesses. She left at 27, though she claimed to have had visions and psychic abilities since she was a child. Such things are not okay for a JW. As with most Christian faiths, anything paranormal or supernatural is considered demonic. She and I chatted about being raised in the faith, and how (and why) we left, then she began the reading.

I gave her the choice of mediums and she chose to just read me without the use of tarot or anything else. She read my aura first and said my torso was yellow and orange (I can’t remember the significance of that). Some of the things she said that did stand out to me, is that I use massage to ground my energies. She said I draw people to me who are like lightning rods, and use them to ground myself. I thought that likely explained why I feel more energized after giving massage.

I complained of feeling like my life was stagnant at the moment and she said, on the contrary, I am experiencing a polar shift. I am becoming a lightning rod. After expressing my frustration at wasting so much of my life on religion, she asked if I planned on dying soon.  I told her I had always felt I would die young. Here she repeated something the psychic in Vegas had said, that many of my previous lives had ended early but she did not foresee this one ending likewise. I told her I was a big believer in genetics and my mother had died at 59 and my grandmother in her 30’s. Here she reminded me of the stifling lives they would have lived under the same religious oppression I had escaped. What an interesting thought! Is it possible we can lengthen our lives by choosing to leave lifestyles that only create feelings of guilt, remorse, and unworthiness? It made sense.

Then she told me, that from the moment she had received my email, she had been envisioning me working at a farmers market, selling my own produce. “Do you have a garden?” she asked. Nope, except for a few herbs in my kitchen. She told me I would definitely be working with the earth. Then she asked me what I was taking in college: Literature/creative writing. Without hesitation, she informed me I would not be using any of it. These words did not come as a shock to me. I had been feeling for a while that literature and writing was not what I was meant to do. I am loving math, however, and I am discovering a love for poetry. So I asked if she thought I might do some poetry. She told me my ability as a poet harkens back to a previous life. Around 1100 CE, I was a Celtic priestess (in the manner of Rumi) who offered my counsel and advice in the form of poetry. (Hmmm, cool. Priestess. That might also explain why I am always so opinionated). I asked her if that had anything to do with my recent interest in Wicca, and she said Wicca was only a temporary distraction for me. The religion I represented as a priestess was an ancient belief grounded in the earth.

So those were the high points. There was one more thing, I forgot. Right after I got into her house, she told me I was clairsentient. She is clairvoyant, which means she sees things that will be and have been. I can feel what people are feeling. Again, that didn’t surprise me. I have always felt particularly in tune with people’s feelings. I think that may explain why I can’t stand talking on the phone. Some people can talk for hours on the phone (like my mother-in-law), but I need to see people’s faces so I know how to respond. This was the first time I had ever heard the term clairsentient and am looking forward to doing more research.

All in all, it was an interesting experience, and I bought a session for my husband as he has never before had a reading. I am hopeful he will find it worthwhile. I have decided to take some classes on horticulture, just to see if I have a hidden interest I have never before explored. It won’t hurt me to learn gardening. I can also see confirmation of something I have always known, I will never be rich. Which is okay. I find I am happy with little. Peace, solitude, and a good book, with a companion to bounce ideas off is all that makes me happy.