Dreams

At least once a month I dream about Jehovah’s Witnesses. Usually I am at a meeting or assembly wondering why I am attending when I don’t believe anymore. The fact that I am disfellowshipped is always present in my dreams. I am treated differently in each dream. Some JW’s talk to me, some don’t, some are terrified of me.

Roy is always expressing surprise that I should dream about them so much. Apparently, he never does.

Last night, I dreamed I was associating with a JW family who seemed bent on converting me. They didn’t know I was an exjw and I enjoyed being part of a community again. The husband and wife were very kind and hospitable…at first. As the dream went on it became more and more apparent that they wanted something from me. The kindness soon turned to madness. They made it very clear what was expected of me in return for their hospitality. I tried to tell them I was a Df’d ex-JW. They acted like they didn’t hear me. Then I tried to use reason and point out that nobody would want to join their organization because the members were obviously bat-shit crazy. This didn’t get through either. Finally, I shoved the pentagram I wear around my neck in their face and shouted, “I am a witch and an apostate!” They gasped in horror and shrank away from me like they were vampires and I was wielding a crucifix. I turned and bolted for the parking lot only to find my car wasn’t where I had parked it. I saw a mob of large, angry JW men coming after me. I could see violence and hatred in their eyes. I started to run. I couldn’t find my car. The mob was descending. I knew they meant to harm me.

I woke up.

A couple of weeks ago, I dreamed I was in my best friend’s house. We had been inseparable when I was 17-20 years old. I spent a lot of time in that house and was visiting it to see some work that was being done. In the dream I was Df’d, like always. There were crowds of JW’s around me. Some would turn their backs on me when I would approach. Children would break out in hysterical screams if I got too close. I happened to walk by a group of JW’s who were huddled together. From their gray, indistinguishable midst stepped someone I knew. She walked up to me and gave me a hug. She told me how much she had missed me, and how she always loved me. I thanked her for her kindness. I knew she faced the judgment of others just by approaching me and I was honored by her gesture.

I woke up wondering why hers was the only face I could put a name to. Then it occurred to me–was it possible she was dead? I read a book recently by Mary Ann Winkowski called When Ghosts Speak. Mary Ann is a medium who can talk with earthbound spirits. She says that many spirits stick around after they die and neglect to cross over. But the surest way to know if a spirit has crossed over is if they appear in our dreams, which is how they communicate with us from the other side.

I have never had a dream about this particular person I will call Sandy. We travelled to New York together in 1996. She threw me my bridal shower in 2002. I loved her and valued her, but hadn’t seen her in years. I knew her health hadn’t been good. But that’s all I knew.

I contacted a mutual friend on Facebook and found out Sandy had died a few days before.

I felt like Sandy had given me a wonderful gift! It warms my heart to receive validation and love from the other side. She didn’t need to give me that message. I’m not even family. But I wonder if part of the reason I received that message wasn’t because I was the only one open to it. Her entire family is still very much in the collective JW consciousness. I heard Sandy. I recognized the message for what it’s worth, and I honor her for going to the effort to deliver it.

The world really is a magical place!

Contemplating the Precipice

As we approach October’s full moon–otherwise known as the blood moon– I have been noticing my dreams are becoming very active. The Blood Moon, or Hunters Moon, is the first full moon after harvest or the autumn equinox.  It gets its name from hunters who tracked and killed their prey by autumn moonlight, stockpiling food for the winter ahead. There is a greater significance to this moon if you are a witch/pagan. As we approach Samhain, otherwise known as Halloween, the veil between the worlds of the living and dead is at its thinnest. This is a very good time for divination, for contacting the dead, for sensing the shift in energy, and for paying attention to dreams.

All last night I dreamed of falling. Initially, I was at a huge amusement park where people were jumping off a very high tower and screaming as they fell. At first I thought it was a ride, but then I realized they were just hitting the ground. I was appalled and couldn’t figure out why they were doing it. Next thing I know I am standing on the edge of the tower looking down. I am terrified of heights and there was nothing between me and the ledge. I slipped and fell only just managing to catch myself. Someone nearby helped pull me to safety.

It doesn’t end there, however. I was on a narrow bridge walking along the edge. The great void pulled at me.  Once again I fell over the edge, catching myself on some sort of plastic netting that hung from the bridge. I was barely hanging on, but no one could help me. Through much struggle I managed to slowly pull myself up and reach safety.

I went to My Dream Visions online and found that such images could mean:

• A point of transition, such as within a process or between phases
• A feeling of being forced to change, adapt, or take action of some kind in your life
• The idea of limited options
• An obstacle or challenge
• A sudden loss of support from others (perhaps giving you the opportunity to “fly” on your own somehow in your life)
• Feeling pushed to an extreme or limit

This basically coincides with the tarot cards I have been pulling recently. Like the II of Swords indicating my own denial that changes are coming in my life, whether I want to hide from them or not. (Hence the woman with the slipping blindfold and her back turned to the rocky shores.) Also the III of Swords which depicts a heart pierced by three swords indicating painful awareness or betrayal. Finally, the IV of Swords representing a period of rest before one returns to a challenge they must cope with. I am getting the impression the universe is perceiving me as an ostrich with my head stuck in the ground. I am hoping for more time, which my massage therapist calls bargaining (at least I’ve moved on from denial).

So what am I going to do about it? Nothing. I’m still bargaining.

How about you? Have you had any interesting dreams this month?