Rebirth

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…and so it is done–finally. The announcement was made last night that I am no longer one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. No truer words have been said from that stage. I wasn’t there. I didn’t hear it. But I was informed that was when the announcement would be made, so I am acting upon that assumption. I have been feeling kind of depressed for the last week or so. Yesterday afternoon I felt like I was having a panic attack. But a pitcher of McMenamin’s IPA took the edge of.

Last weekend I had cleaned out the closet and pulled out the last of our Watchtower Society books, magazines, and brochures. I decided a nice little ritual burning was in order. So, last night, during the time I estimated the announcement would be made, I had a ritual. Roy piled all the books and magazines in our outdoor fire pit, I cast a witches circle, and we lit them on fire. I said a few choice words–whatever I felt ‘moved by the spirit’ to utter.

I kept out a copy of a 1980 Watchtower I had possessed as a child. It had my name written on the outside cover, and my scribbles all over it. I remember the endless hours of meetings where I would scribble and draw. I could survive the boredom as long as I had a writing instrument and something to write on. Fortunately, my father wasn’t one of those parents who banned their kids from writing in any of the literature. I burned that old Watchtower separately as representative of my childhood enslaved by the organization.

After the fire burned down, and I officially ended the ritual, Roy and Trevor went indoors and I stayed outside burning sage and circling the fire pit. I spoke from the heart, and even cried a little, then I looked up at the full moon and reflected on the blessings I have now–Freedom from fear and judgment; Freedom to live my life without always checking in to make sure my choices were permissible; A life filled with love for my fellow humans and optimism rather than negativity; A future I look forward to and can work towards rather than putting my life on hold for a nebulous promise that keeps fading into the distance. Life is a blessing. Humankind is worthy of life. I no longer look at people as potential bird-bait, but as fellow sharers in this remarkable planet.

I don’t know if I would have been able to do it without the internet and social networking. I wonder how people managed before these wonderful tools. I understand why the internet is such a danger to high control groups such as the Watchtower Society. The reason they disfellowship is so members will return out of desperation due to excessive loneliness. In a recent Watchtower (April 2012) Paragraph 17 on page 12 explains the significance behind this practice:

17 “Consider just one example of the
good that can come when a family loyally
upholds Jehovah’s decree not to associate
with disfellowshipped relatives. A
young man had been disfellowshipped
for over ten years, during which time his
father, mother, and four brothers “quit
mixing in company” with him. At times,
he tried to involve himself in their activities,
but to their credit, each member
of the family was steadfast in not
having any contact with him. After he
was reinstated, he said that he always
missed the association with his family,
especially at night when he was alone.
But, he admitted, had the family associated
with him even a little, that small
dose would have satisfied him. However,
because he did not receive even
the slightest communication from any
of his family, the burning desire to be
with them became one motivating factor
in his restoring his relationship with
Jehovah. Think of that if you are ever
tempted to violate God’s command not
to associate with your disfellowshipped
relatives.” (Watchtower)

Social media has removed such isolation and such ones can easily find others just like them, sometimes in their area. And whenever doubts and fears arise due to years of indoctrination, these are the ones who can strengthen us. So let me use this opportunity to thank all of you for your support on my journey and offer my assistance to anyone who needs it. Cheers fellow free-thinkers!

“Free at Last”

I have been thrust from obscurity into the glaring light of public censorship. Maybe this is a good time to point out that I wasn’t being as obscure as I hoped I was. I have a tendency to think most people don’t pay attention, or care, and this has proven to be grossly negligent on my part. When I began writing this blog it was specifically for the purpose of exploring my spiritual revolution. I kept it separate from my other blog and my Facebook account and even wrote it under a pseudonym. In recent weeks I have become less careful.

A couple of months ago, I was talking to an old friend who still subscribes to the tenets of my old belief. She asked if it was true that I was calling myself an apostate and Wiccan. She said everyone was asking her and rumors were rampant. This proved my earlier point–I had underestimated how many people actually were paying attention. So I admitted it to her. Last week I received a visit from an elder–only one–asking me if it is true I was posting things on Facebook regarding Wicca. Perhaps now would be a good time to mention that I thought I had insured my privacy settings were set too high for any probing eyes. Once again, I was wrong. So I decided to come out of the proverbial broom closet and admit my witchy-ways. He begged me not to be so reckless and warned me of ruining my relationship with Jehovah. This surprised me. It seemed common sense that if I was becoming a witch it should be obvious that the opinion of Jehovah, or any other Christian god for that matter, doesn’t matter to me. So he asked if a couple more elders could come for a visit and share some scriptures with me. I have read the bible so many times I know it inside and out–I told him I didn’t think there was anything he could tell me that I didn’t already know and hadn’t already discounted.

Then he saw the pentacle around my neck and almost gave himself a hernia trying to get out my front door, which has a tendency to stick in winter weather. I actually laughed at him. Once he was safely on the outside of my house where no goulies or demons could get him, he turned and asked if I was in fact denying any assistance from the congregation. I said I was. Then he asked if I was determined to continue my wayward course. I said I was.

For those of you who don’t know, this means I am disfellowshipped. A public announcement is made at the next meeting and all obedient Jehovah’s Witnesses will not only stop associating with me, they will pretend I don’t exist. It’s like what happened to Ayla in Clan of the Cave  Bear when she was banished from the clan. In their minds, I am as good as dead. Initially, I was upset because I had committed the unforgivable sin. Everyone I had ever known and cared about would be grieved by my rebellious choice. By the next day, I felt incredible gratitude! I would not have taken this step on my own and it needed to be taken. I was limiting myself far too much out of fear of this exact thing. Now I have nothing to fear and I can choose to do what I want. I feel the same basic freedom as I did in El Salvador when I had everything stolen from me and had nothing left to lose.

A year ago, when I left the JW’s, I felt like the world lay before me and my options were unlimited. In recent months, I have experienced a feeling of floating. I’m not sure what the next step is and it is frustrating. The day after the elder came for a visit, a door opened and now I know where my path lies. I have used the word ‘gratitude’ more in the last 10 days than I have in my entire life, and it was brought on by the very thing I was taught to fear above all else–alienation from Jehovah and his earthly organization. I had hoped the elders would call to tell me when the announcement was going to occur just so I could thank them for setting me free, but that hasn’t happened. I guess it’s possible it could happen this week, but I kind of think it was made last week.

I think my greatest regret in all this is that none of the people who I used to care for will understand why I did it. They won’t know how miserable and neurotic I was under the tyranny of the Watchtower Society. They won’t understand my study of Wicca is to regain my power as a woman after a lifetime of humiliation by men in leadership positions. They will be unaware of just how happy and empowered I feel and how they could experience the same thing if they just chose to.

I wrote a poem in recognition of this. It’s a Shakespearean sonnet and it isn’t great but it expresses my feelings:

Free At Last—a sonnet

Praying for apocalypse day and night

Calling the birds to feast upon the slain

This world and its character gone from sight

“The meek shall inherit the earth,” is their refrain.

These do not grasp the darkness of their dream

“We are God’s happy people,” they insist.

Tired, tortured eyes betray souls that scream

Rot and ruin corrupt their very midst.

“Do not question, do not doubt. Believe all!

Hide who you are out of fear of God’s wrath.”

God is not the judge—they heed their own call

Knocking all sinners who stray from the path.

Their threats are empty, their vengeance is scant

Away bondage! “Free at last,” I incant.

“Combatting Cult Mind Control”

As the anniversary of my father’s death approaches (Nov. 24th) I am reminded that it has been one year since the death of my childhood faith. The last time I set foot inside a Kingdom Hall was for my father’s funeral–and I knew at the time it would be my last visit. As I greeted familiar faces I had known my whole life I felt sadness at the divergent path I was about to embark on. I can’t think of a better way to say goodbye to everyone who had ever mattered than as they were sharing the grieving process with me.

That is not why I am writing this blog, however. I am here to do a book review. You see, in the year since I decided I no longer wanted to be one of Jehovah’s Witnesses I have made a concerted effort to educate myself–my own personal Exit Counseling. I worked through the anger and resentment by sharing my feelings with others who felt the same. I read ex-JW literature, attended ex-JW forums, and studied the development of religion from a sociological perspective. These are the things I needed to undo the indoctrination of a lifetime.

After about six months or so I started to get on with my life–or at least I tried to. A few months is not enough time to deprogram a mind injected with 37 years of programming. In recent months I have been ricocheting from feelings of severe depression to claustrophobia. I feel like my life is floating in limbo and I need to do something diametrically different from what I have been doing. I have lost my zeal for college and even the desire to maintain relationships. I want to cut them all loose and I keep having dreams that I am killing my passion or walking on the edge of disaster, or even trapped inside a Kingdom Hall with no exits. Then something happened a few days ago that made me realize I still had not recovered. After posting someone’s parody of a Watchtower victim awaiting Armageddon, a disfellowshipped ‘friend’ unfriended me–but not before telling me that my “blatant apostasy was pissing [him] off.” My heart started to pound so hard I could hear it reverberating in my ears. I started to shake and felt overwhelming fear. This had happened after awaking that same day from nightmares of being forced to go out in the door-to-door ministry–and only days after having two JW friends try to “talk some sense into me.” My life came crumbling down around me. What was I doing? Had I just made a huge mistake? Was I going to get disfellowshipped? What if I ever wanted to go back?

I panicked. I actually changed my name on Facebook and made my account as impermeable to curious outsiders as I could. Some new ex-JW friends on Facebook were able to calm me down, but I realized something: It didn’t take much for the old programming to begin playing its familiar tune. So today I decided to take the time to finish a book I started months ago–“Combatting Cult Mind Control” by Steve Hassan. This book recounts Steve’s own experience being indoctrinated by the Moonies and his eventual escape. He goes on to become an exit counselor for others in need of escape from cult control. The book contains his observations of why some cults are so successful as well as how to overcome their programming. On page 41 and 42 he says:

“They indoctrinate members to show only the best sides of the organization. Members are taught to suppress any negative feelings they have about the group and always show a continually smiling, ‘happy’ face…(pg 42)It was always amazing to me to realize how many people in this category told us they had just been praying to God to show them what He wanted them to do with their lives. Many believed they were ‘spiritually’ led to meet one of our members…members regard themselves as ‘fishers of men’…They reinvest a great part of their capital back into recruiting new members…The average person doesn’t stand much of a chance. ”

Was he talking about Jehovah’s Witnesses here? Nope. He was relating his experiences with the Moonies, but he could have been talking about the JW’s. I don’t remember Mr. Hassan mentioning Jehovah’s Witnesses at all in the book. He didn’t have to. Every description matched their techniques precisely.

Mr. Hassan goes on to relate successful and failed attempts at exit counseling from a plethora of different cults. On page 167 he sums up his own feelings as a recovered cult victim:

“I left when I realized that deception and mind control can never be part of any legitimate spiritual movement: that through their use, the group had created a virtual ‘Hell on Earth,’ a kingdom of slaves. Once I was able to realize that even though I wanted to believe it was true [paradise earth/resurrection] my belief didn’t make it true. I saw that even if I remained in the group for another fifty years, the fantasy I was sacrificing myself for would never come true.” (italics my application)

He goes on to relate how people actually change personality while under the influence of cults. A study was conducted in 1982 in which a respected psychologist used the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator to test cult members. He had them answer questions based upon who they were before the cult influence and again after. A marked difference was noted between their pre-cult personalities and their peri-cult personalities. Whatever they had been before, most shifted to sensor-judger dominant (Hassan, 191). I found this interesting since I had done my own informal poll regarding types of personalities that left the JW’s and when. I had found that intuitive judgers usually left in their late teens-early twenties. Whereas, intuitive perceivers held on longer and didn’t leave until well into adulthood. This isn’t to say that sensors don’t leave cults, but it may be harder for them and might stem from emotional trauma. (These are my observations based upon a limited pool of participants.)

Steve Hassan summarized his book with the observation that:

“If people come to believe that someone else knows better than they what is best to do, they can be in real danger…We have free will and should never abandon our personal responsibility for making good choices.” (Hassan, 195)

I found Hassan’s book to perfectly address my emotional issues. He described my feeling of “floating” as the mind trying to reevaluate the world without the lenses of mind control I had been wearing. In a carefully controlled environment, information and thought are carefully mastered to always be in line with the group-think. Imagine a lifetime of controlling every word,  and every thought, that didn’t agree with the prime directive. Once one leaves that tight control, they must learn to think again. I still ask myself when things go wrong if I have displeased God. My emotional issues of late could be attributed to separation from the “truth”–at least that is how believers would interpret it. Thankfully I have done enough personal research that I can dismiss such thoughts immediately, but many don’t do the research. They are either too lazy, or too afraid, or cannot think clearly due to years of reading the same literature. Some of these may actually go back because they never stopped believing.

I realize now that, just as one has good days and bad days while grieving, I will have bad days as I grieve the loss of my faith. The most important thing is that I recognize these unconscious messages and replace them with conscious discernment. As the poet William Blake wrote: “I must Create a system, or be enslav’d by another Man’s.” (Hassan, 196)

Hassan, Steve. “Combatting Cult Mind Control.” Park Street Press, Vermont, 1988.

Apocalyptic Fixation

 

Most adherents to apocalyptic faiths have a different reaction to rising crime, poverty, and disease. As these things increase in frequency, such ones rejoice. How can they rejoice, you might ask. Because such things were prophesied as the sign of Christ’s coming and/or presence:

“Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom; 
 and there will be great earthquakes, and in one place after 
another pestilences and food shortages; and there will be fearful 
sights and from heaven great signs." (Luke 21:10, 11)
But as these things start to occur, raise yourselves erect and 
lift YOUR heads up, because YOUR deliverance is getting near.” 
(Luke 21:28)

Such ones are so eager for the destruction of this earth (and 99% of life upon it), that they practice confirmation bias. They see only what they want to see and hear only what confirms their bias. All else is dismissed, and in many cases, not even heard. Yes, I have seen it:

ME: “Did you hear that? They said crime is down.”

CONFIRMATION BIAS: “No, they didn’t. Didn’t you hear of that shooting in a nearby town?”

You see? Such ones will always hear what validates their deeply held biases and ignore everything else. It reminds me of a conversation I had with an old friend when I decided to stop serving as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses. She looked straight at me and said, “But, the end is so close. You can see how bad things are getting. It’s everywhere. How can you want to leave now?” I remember just looking at her sadly. All I wanted to say was, “The world isn’t as bad as you think. There are good people and great things being done every day. Stop looking for the bad and you will see the good.” Did I say that? No. I remember being in her shoes and no matter what anyone said to me if it did not fit within my carefully constructed network of beliefs I didn’t hear it.

So what is the point of this blog? To show you that things aren’t getting worse, but are, in some cases, actually getting better. Check out these charts and graphs on the numbers of earthquakes over the last 40 years. Does it look like they’ve been increasing?

http://www.johnstonsarchive.net/other/quake1.html

And this recent article in Time magazine about the drop in crime over the last 20 years:

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1963761,00.html

So, will these documented articles matter to doomsdayers? Not likely, because of this scripture:

For YOU know this first, that in the last days there will come 
ridiculers with their ridicule, proceeding according to their 
own desires and saying: “Where is this promised presence of his? 
Why, from the day our forefathers fell asleep [in death], 
all things are continuing exactly as from creation’s beginning.”
(2 Peter 3:3, 4)

It’s a funny thing with confirmation bias for no matter what contradictory information comes their way, it gets explained away. Therefore, even science and documented evidence cannot break the crusty exterior of their faith. Why? Because many of these people have spent their lives hearing about a promised new world in which all the griefs of this life will be removed. Many have never invested in retirement or anything else, they have no health insurance and their health is declining because they never took care of themselves like they should have. “Why bother? Everything’s going to be fixed in about six months.” Armageddon was always six months to two years away. For such ones to finally admit they have been living their lives waiting for a mythological utopia would be shattering.

What can we do? Not look for the bad. See the good and contribute to it. Be a good neighbor and a conscientious citizen. Rejoice! Maybe mankind is actually evolving to a better plane.

Crisis of Conscience

I have just finished reading a book considered taboo to my old system of beliefs. The book enjoys such infamy simply owning a copy would bring down the judgment from church elders. I didn’t even know the book existed until the last year or so, and didn’t know of the events it depicted until the last few years. The organization I belonged to has done such a thorough job of sweeping it all under the carpet that it is probably safe to say only 10-15% of its seven million adherents know of its existence. The book is entitled Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz.

Ray Franz was a member of the Governing Body of Jehovah’s Witnesses (JW) from 1971-1980. The Governing Body is a small group of men (9-15 members) who perform all administrative functions for the global congregation of JW’s. These men are among the few (144,00 total) JW’s feel are chosen for heavenly life. Ray was among their numbers until he started taking issue with certain organizational procedures. He and those associated with him were eliminated with extreme prejudice.

When I say “eliminated” I don’t mean a mafia-style hit. I mean excommunication, otherwise known as being disfellowshipped. (Exactly what will happen to me if anyone finds this blog;). Men and their wives who gave decades of faithful service and only took issue with an unbiblical rule. They wanted to remain servants of Jehovah but were kicked out of their homes at the headquarters, losing lifelong friends in the process, in a trial reminiscent of that endured by the Christ in the hours before his death.

Is this a book filled with lies and exaggerations, as many opponents claim? No. The honesty of the writer, and the deep-seated sadness, come through with every word. For those who prefer their evidence in black and white, he has documented evidence supporting his claims. He reveals a number of situations that happened while he was on the Governing Body–from dogmatic stances against oral sex to healthcare and political decisions that have resulted in the deaths of many. He concludes with the assumption that the religion will never experience any reform as its adherents are captives of the concept that God has only one organization–and that is the Watchtower organization. As long as followers subscribe to that belief wholeheartedly any inconsistencies will be ignored. And books such as this, will be avoided as if they carried the black plague.

In the concluding chapter of the book, he quotes a friend as saying, “The mind which renounces, once and forever, a futile hope, has its compensation in ever growing calm” (345). This made me think of the initial psychological shock I experienced upon realizing I had spent my life subscribing to beliefs that were inaccurate. Doctrines that had been such a part of my mentality that every word and action mirrored their apparent reality. It is hard to turn our backs on the only thing we have ever known and believed in. But once I did, and I allowed other truths to break the veil of obscurity my mind had hidden behind, I experienced a calmness and freedom from fear.

Did I know I was living my life in fear? No. I knew I was never good enough and would never be good enough, but I was told everyone else was living in fear–not JW’s. Yet, I had been taught to look at only the bad in the world as evidence of its coming destruction. To never befriend non-witnesses as they would die at Armageddon. To fear for my own salvation lest I do anything that may cause me to become disapproved. I no longer need to micro-manage my life and I have felt the shackles fall away and the heavy yoke that Jesus said was “kind” has finally become what he described.

I recommend this book to anyone who has ever felt the need to answer the stabbings of their conscience in opposition to popular opinion. It takes courage to stand alone, as the analogy says, “The nail that sticks out gets hammered.”

Enlightenment

In my western literature class we are discussing the Age of Enlightenment. This took place roughly between 1650 and 1850, though it was chiefly focused during the 18th century. For those of us who have never been clear what this Age of Enlightenment entailed, Immanuel Kant offers a good description:

Enlightenment is the human being’s emergence from his self-incurred minority [i.e. “The legal status of not being able to speak for oneself” n.1].  Minority is inability to make use of one’s own understanding without direction from another.  This minority is self-incurred when its cause lies not in lack of understanding but in lack of resolution and courage to use it without direction from another.  Sapere aude! [Latin for “Dare to know,” from Horace, Epistles 1.2.40; n. 2]  “Have courage to make use of your own understanding!” is thus the motto of enlightenment.

I don’t know about you but I never realized how much freedom was tied up with enlightenment (which may explain why the French and American revolutions both happened during this time). I can also understand why this Age occurred. Europe was just coming out of the Dark Ages in which “the church” reigned supreme–and a terrible reign it was! It would have been an evolutionary necessity for mankind to have banded together and broken the tie of religious fanaticism.

One of our required reads was by Denis Diderot (French, 1713-1784). He was most widely known for a series of encyclopedia’s he and a colleague attempted to write enumerating all new knowledge produced since the Renaissance [i.e. since the 15th century]. He tells a tale of a man from a Christian nation who visits a Tahitian village. This man gets offered the sexual favors of the chiefs wife and daughters as a form of hospitality. The Christian refuses. The Chief tries to convince him that he would be doing his family a favor as his youngest daughter has not yet bore a child and is disrespected within her community. This young girl kneels before the Christian and begs him to save her from her humiliation. He relents.

The next day he talks with her father, the chief, and explains the morality of the Christian faith. The chief, Orou, gives his opinion:

I find these singular precepts opposed to nature and contrary to reason, made to multiply crimes and to plague at every moment this old maker, who has made everything, without help of hands, or head, or tools, who is everywhere and is not seen anywhere, who exists today and tomorrow and yet is not a day older, who commands and is not obeyed, who can prevent and yet does not do so. Contrary to nature because these precepts suppose that a free, thinking, and sentient being can be the property of a being like himself. On what is this law founded? Don’t you see that in your country they have confused the thing which has neither consciousness nor thought, nor desire, nor will; which one picks up, puts down, keeps or exchanges, without injury to it, or without its complaining, have confused this with the thing which cannot be exchanged or acquired, which has liberty, will, desire, which can give or refuse itself for a moment or for ever, which laments and suffers, and which cannot become an article of commerce, without its character being forgotten and violence done to its nature; contrary to the general law of existence? In fact, nothing could appear to you more senseless than precept which refuses to admit that change which is a part of us, which commands a constancy which cannot be found there and which violates the liberty of the male and female by chaining them for ever to each other; more senseless than a fidelity which limits the most capricious of enjoyments to one individual; than an oath of the immutability of two beings made of flesh; and all that in the face of a sky which never for a moment remains the same, in caverns which threaten destruction, below a rock which falls to powder, at the foot of a tree which cracks, on a stone which rocks? Believe me, you have made the condition of man worse than that of animals. I do not know what your great maker may be; but I rejoice that he has never spoken to our forefather, and I wish that he may never speak to our children; for he might tell them the same foolishness, and they commit the folly of believing it. Yesterday, at supper, you mentioned “magistrates” and “priests”, whose authority regulates your conduct; but, tell me, are they the masters of good and evil? Can they make what is just to be unjust, and unjust, just? Does it rest with them to attribute good to harmful actions, and evil to innocent or useful actions? You could not think it, for, at that rate, there would be neither true nor false, good nor bad, beautiful nor ugly; or at any rate only what pleased your great maker, your magistrates and your priests to pronounce so. And from one moment to another you would be obliged to change your ideas and your conduct. One day someone would tell you, on behalf of one of your three masters, to kill, and you would be obliged by your conscience to kill; another day, “steal,” and you would have to steal; or “do not eat this fruit” and you would not dare to eat it; “I forbid you this vegetable or animal” and you would take care not to touch them. There is no good thing that could not be forbidden you, and no wickedness that you could not be ordered to do. And what would you be reduced to, if your three masters, disagreeing among themselves, should at once permit, enjoin, and forbid you the same thing, as I believe must often happen. Then, to please the priest you must become embroiled with the magistrate; to satisfy the magistrate you must displease the great maker; and to make yourself agreeable to the great maker you must renounce nature. And do you know what will happen then? You will neglect all of them, and you will be neither man, nor citizen, nor pious; you will be nothing; you will be out of favour with all kinds of authorities, at odds even with yourself, tormented by your heart, persecuted by your enraged masters; and wretched as a I saw you yesterday evening when I offered my wife and daughters to you, and you cried out, “But my religion, my office!”

Do you want to know what is good and what is bad in all times and in all places? Hold fast to the nature of things and of actions; to your relations with your fellows; to the influence of your conduct on your individual usefulness and the general good. You are mad if you believe that there is anything, high or low in the universe, which can add to or subtract  from the laws of nature. Her eternal will is that good should be preferred to evil, and the general good to the individual good. You may ordain the opposite but you will not be obeyed. You will multiply the number of malefactors and the wretched by fear, punishment, and remorse. You will deprave consciences; you will corrupt minds. They will not know what to do or what to avoid. Disturbed in their state of innocence, at ease with crime, they will have lost their guiding star...(Supplement to the Voyage of Bougainville)

I found this short story interesting for it broke down religion, and especially Christianity, into its basic tenets of strict and unquestionable obedience. There is no reason and very little accountability with some of the “moral” requirements among Christians. Diderot says such “laws” make the condition of man worse than that of animals–simply following commands with little to no reasoning or questions. This “pagan chieftain” breaks down the whole obligation of man into basic tenets such as being good to ones fellow-man and following the natural laws within and without. The heavy burdens religion binds upon our shoulders does not make us better people, only creatures awaiting the first sign of freedom. We are not intelligent and conscientious but controlled and manipulated by guilt. The first time that control is lifted can be seen in the riots and looting this Christian country succumbs to whenever things go wrong. Yes, laws are good, but micro-managing is not. Mankind would be a better place without the burden of religion.

Dissolution of Beliefs

I just watched a video on youtube:

It describes a religion started back in the early part of the 20th century. It had tens of thousands of adherents worldwide and a firmly established system of beliefs. At one point some of the older ones in leadership noticed some Bible accounts that contradicted their beliefs. They researched it and realized they were wrong on numerous things. The head of the church got up in front of hundreds and admitted their misguided beliefs. The video portrays the difficult change that resulted and the divisions it caused, but it calls the whole thing a modern day miracle since the church did survive. The people are happier now for the God they served before was harsh and demanding. The followers always felt guilty and unworthy. They were under constant pressure to measure up, but under the new beliefs as laid out in the Bible they realize that God is love. He wants people to come to him. It makes me think of a conversation I had with a friend yesterday who said she was always taught that God is knocking and trying to tell us, “Here I am. I am here for you.” All we have to do is open for him.

Take the time to watch the video all the way through. (I played solitaire while I listened to it). The video brought tears to my eyes more than once at the gratefulness people felt for their spiritual leaders who were humble enough to admit when they were wrong and make the needed adjustments even when they knew the fallout would be great. Let me know what you think after watching.

What is a Cult?

I finished reading a book I had been working on for a while: Escape by Carolyn Jessop. It is the true life experiences of a woman, raised FLDS(married at 18 to a much older man[8 kids by the time she was 34]), who escaped the polygamous cult with her kids. It was a very interesting perspective of life among the Mormon Fundamentalists. She only escaped a few years ago and lives in a Salt Lake City suburb. She and her kids are thriving, with the exception of one who chose to return to the cult.

Having been raised in a religion referred to by many as a cult, I have always found that word offensive and disliked using it. However, not too long ago, I decided to look up the meaning of it. My understanding of the definition of cult is similar to that of Newsweek “normally small, fringe groups whose members derive their identity and purpose from a single, charismatic individual.” Asiaweek has a similar definition: “the term [cult] itself is vague, but it usually denotes a new religious creed built around a charismatic leader, who often proclaims himself to be the personification of God.”

One day I was watching a program on TLC re: cults and was angered to hear my religion referred to as such. I decided to prove them wrong and look up the word “cult”. I was already aware of how my faith defined the term (see above) but I wanted to see if there were other definitions that made people label us as such. I tried my old dictionaries and encyclopedias and found a very generic definition:

1-worship; reverential honor; religious devotion

2-the system of outward forms and ceremonies used in worship;                             religious rites and formalities

3-devoted attachment to, or extravagent admiration for, a person,                         principle, etc., especially when regarded as a fad; as, the cult of                           nudism

Those definitions didn’t seem to cover it and I thought the word might have evolved, so I needed a more current definition. I  tried the internet. Wikipedia defines the word cult as “a group whose beliefs or practices are considered strange.” I thought that  definition equally vague as most religions have teachings or traditions others might find strange. Wikipedia’s definition was obviously longer than those nine words, but I wanted other sources.

I found other sites and definitions and most agreed with Wikipedia’s overall summary:

1. People are put in physical or emotionally distressing situations;
2. Their problems are reduced to one simple explanation, which is repeatedly emphasized;
3. They receive unconditional love, acceptance, and attention from a charismatic leader or group;
4. They get a new identity based on the group;
5. They are subject to entrapment (isolation from friends, relatives and the mainstream culture) and their access to information is severely controlled.

I thought some of the things could apply to my religion (i.e unconditional attention, isolation, and information control). But still believed most religions could meet some of those requirements.

I quickly learned that the word “cult” had evolved over time and, thanks to groups such as The Branch Davidians and Heaven’s Gate, had taken on a sinister meaning. In fact, many sociologists and theologists choose not to use the word at all because of its negative connotation.

That being said, I did come across some very interesting explanations for “cult”:

• www.cultfaq.org: A cult of Christianity is a group of people, which claiming to be Christian, embraces a particular doctrine system taught by an individual leader, group of leaders, or organization, which (system) denies (either explicitly or implicitly) one or more of the central doctrines of the Christian Faith as taught in the sixty-six books of the Bible.   I imagine they are referring to the fundamental doctrines of Christianity (i.e. trinity, immortal soul, rapture, etc.)

• Rich McGee, a theological scholar, wrote a paper  on cults that can be found atwww.leaderu.com. He narrowed it down to:

1. Cut-off: isolated from family and friends
2. Undernourished: deprivation creates followers with low resistance
3. Leadership: absolute and unquestionable
4. Theology/truth: the faith claims sole possession of truth and has an”us vs. them” concept

McGee goes on to define a difference in religious cults: Western Cults,               Eastern Cults, and New Age Cults. Notice what he says about Western               Cults:

 

• Western Cults. These have their roots in Christianity, usually claiming to be the true church. They use the Bible as one of their sources and Jesus Christ as a central figure. These are groups such as the Mormons, Unification Church (Moonies), Jehovah’s Witnesses, and Christian Science. The People’s Temple and the Branch Davidians would also be in this category. (Hmmm, there it is again. Only now I don’t feel quite so defensive. Could it be they are right about the whole cult thing?)

• My third and final source comes from www.howcultswork.com and is extremely interesting. This site begins by breaking down misconceptions many have regarding cults:

1. Easy to spot because they dress weird
2. Full of weak-willed and emotionally unstable people
3. Just a bunch of religious nut cases
4. Such groups not only don’t think they are cults but call all other groups cults

The site then went on to explain all the things that characterize a cult:

• Single charismatic leader.
• People always seeming constantly happy and enthusiastic. Especially if you discover that they have been told to act that way for the potential new recruits.
• Instant friends.
• If you are told who you can or cannot talk to or associate with.
• They hide what they teach.
• Say they are the only true group, or the best so why go anywhere else.
• Hyped meetings, get you to meetings rather than share with you.
• Experiential rather than logical.
• Asking for money for the next level.
• Some cults travel door to door during times when women are home alone. They, and this is rather sexist, think that women are easier to recruit and once they have the woman then it will be easier to snare the husband or partner.
• Saying that they have to make people pay for it because otherwise they will not appreciate it. This is of course a very silly reason, plenty of people are able to appreciate things which they did not pay for.
• Old publications by the group. Often the older cults have predicted the end of the world or changed their beliefs significantly, hence their older publications become a danger to them. For some of the older cults people have produced books of photo copies of these changes.

All very thought-provoking ideas. So, the final analysis? Yes, I do think my religion could qualify as a cult, but I agree with theologians who claim the word has taken on way too much negative baggage to be tosses around freely. When examining the history of the word (pre-20th century) it didn’t have the sinister meaning it does now. Is it wrong to belong to a group widely characterized as a cult? If that group brings happiness to someone and they are not expected to commit suicide, or, if they are in it with their eyes wide open, then no. A member of my family recently posted something on Facebook which I found interesting, and though I don’t agree with it, find it illustrates this point quite nicely:  “I would rather walk with God in the dark than go alone in the light.”

Imbolc

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I had my first pagan ceremony today! It was very interesting. A neighbor had lent me a book on Wicca, and while reading it I realized a very important day of the year was coming–Imbolc. Irish imbolc derives from the Old Irish i mbolg “in the belly”. This refers to the pregnancy of ewes. A medieval glossary etymologizes the term as oimelc “ewe’s milk”.  It marks the halfway point between the winter and spring equinoxes. Catholics call it Candelmas; North Americans call it Groundhog Day. Celts call it the Festival of St. Brigid (Brid). I decided to recognize the day in the traditional Celtic fashion–being Scotch-Irish and a redhead. Water and fire seemed to be the primary focus of the festival, so I collected 50 candles of various shades of red, white and green. Red being the color of the god, green the color of the goddess, and white the color of the ewes milk–which Brigid was bathed in upon her birth. I built an altar with candles of red and white, calla lilies (white), fragrant evergreens, chalices, a wand (borrowed from my neighbor), sea salt, a corn-husk doll representing Brigid, and melting ice within a womb-shaped trifle dish to signify winter melting into spring. It looked quite beautiful!

Five participated in the ceremony: my husband and I, my nephew, and our neighbor and her daughter. We read the mythologies surrounding the day and the significance of everything. Then said various blessings as we lit the last seven candles of red and white. Then we partook in Sabbat cakes (simple little cookies with a refreshing lemony taste), beer/mineral water, cheese, and fresh fruits and vegetables. Celtic music played in the background and everyone seemed to find the whole affair very soothing.

Afterward, as my neighbor and I sat outside on the chill evening by the bonfire we had built in honor of the occasion, I asked her what she thought of the ceremony. She said she thought it was beautiful and thanked me for including her. She went on to tell me how important God was to her. I asked her, “What do you mean God?” The foregoing ceremony would be labeled positively demonic by the adherents of my childhood religion. Did she mean a Christian God? Her answer? “God is…” That was it. God is not small enough to be sheltered within the tight confines of Christianity. “There is a reason for everything,” she said. “I cannot accept that life has no reason.” So, God is above and all spiritual pursuits  honor  him. A very comforting belief. But is it true? It would be nice if it was. I, however, was raised to believe in a God that had such exacting requirements that few, if any, could fulfill them. So, if her beliefs are true, tonights ceremony was genuinely spiritual and acceptable to God. If my beliefs were true, we are all  pretty much damned–in a strictly non-hellfire sort of way. How do I feel? When I erected the altar last night, I was alone as my husband was in a welding class. I remember thinking that my old beliefs would find such an altar an open invitation to demons. I didn’t feel anything. My house felt normal. The altar felt right. So, either my previous system of beliefs is wrong, or I am so far gone my conscience  has been “marked as with a branding iron” (1 Timothy 4:2).  What do you think? Is God in all systems of beliefs or just one?